Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Big Day

Well today was the big day, the day that scares the crap out of most gay people. You know what I am talking about. Today was the day I told my parents. Wow that was hard to get out. I started by talking to my mom this afternoon, about an hour before I had to leave to come back home. I didn't beat around the bush, I just said. MOM I have to tell you something, its probably going to blindside you, I am gay. After the shock wore off, we talked a little more, tears fell, kind of expected that, and we talked some more. I got the typical motherly concern for things, U know safe sex, grandkids, yadi yadi yadi, Not trying to make light of the conversation, cause it really wasn't.

Now as far as my dad was concerned I have not had a whole lot of time to get a feel for what he is feeling. He was at work when I was discussing it with my mom, and I had to leave before he got home from work. I told my mom that I would call him when he got out, but she said that she would talk to him about it. So he called me about an hour before I got home and we talked for a little bit.

I think they are both still in shock from the news. I was thinking that they already had some idea, but I was wrong. Then they brought up a point that I didn't think about at all. Telling my nephews and niece. We are probably going to have some discussions about that over the next couple of weeks, My parents are concerned about the kids using the news to label me, my parents don't want that at all. They are great people, and they are trying to keep the kids as well diverse and politically correct as possible. They are doing a wonderful job with the kids, as they did with us. I love them very much, and I hope they can work through whatever is concerning about me.

Kris

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I slipped again

Long time no talk. So I was at work the other day and the subject got on ass holes, for some reason or another. I slipped, or more or less couldn't resist. I told him that everyone has an ass hole, but some people use it in different ways. He laughed and said that sounded like an admission to me. I laughed, and so did the other guy I was working with. He was the one that I have already told that I was gay. Although I am pretty sure that the guy i told that to would be okay with me being gay.

Well, That was it, nothing too intense today, or too philosophical.

Kris

Monday, November 15, 2010

In some ways I feel the same way as Hanna Montana, Now when your done laughing..... okay are you done yet....... really i have a point here..... okay, here it is. If anyone saw the last episode and for those of you that haven't I am sorry to spoil it, but Hanna comes out to the world of her true identity. Hanna throughout the entire episode was completely wigging out from the stress of living a duel life. I feel the same way, and completely understand. I myself have noticed a lot of issues that have caused me to think that the stress is getting to me. I have had a headache for a long time now, and just little ticks and annoying stuff. I was so happy for Hanna when she told the world and the stress of the double life was gone. I myself am ready for the stress of the double life to be over.

Here I am world. I am me, and I want to be the best damn me I can be. If you want to label me as gay fine then I am gay. But really, gay is just a part of me. I am a lot more. I am a scuba diver, a great bowler, and a geocacher. Just ask me, I will tell you what you want to know.

Kris

Monday, November 1, 2010

Note to Self

It has been a while since I have blogged. It has been a busy couple of weeks at work. There are a few things that I need to straighten around in my life, so things have been slow for any progress.

Don't get me wrong, there really isn't anything major wrong with my life, but I want to make some changes that will help me both in the near future and in the long term future. The kind of thing I had in mind are changes to my relationship status, telling my parents that I am gay (I know that comes up on almost every post), and the biggest one, but that I really can't start until I am fully out of the closet, so it better be soon, is a change in career. Why do I need to be fully out to do this last thing you may ask. Its simple. I really think that some of my biggest hold ups with my job is my fear of being outed. Now I know that sounds like an excuse, but why should I work to progress myself in a company that I am pretty sure will end my career if they new I was gay. So I want to get a fresh start with something new with no secrets, so I can concentrate and put my whole heart into it to make myself the best at whatever it is that I do.

Thanks for reading my blog. This particular blog had only one target audience (me). I think it is something that needed to be said to myself, and I needed to use this blog as a tool to get my thoughts down on something concrete. Something that I can look back on and say, "This is really how I feel". I am going to start looking at schools this week and figure out where I want to go. I think I know what I want to do (IT management).

So of all those that read my blog, who can see me as the best damn gay IT manager there is.

Thanks for reading my blog, I hope that I didn't ramble on too much for you.

Kris