The inner me is knocking hard to come out

AHHHHHHHH! Thats what I hear from my inner self every time I wake up in the morning, crawl out of bed, smile at myself in the mirror, then suppress my gayness for another day at work. I want to do something, or change something in my life that I don't have to wake up and change who I am for the day.

Well I have to get going back to work.

Kris

So a couple of weeks ago I was working on a mussel relocation, working with a biologist that we have worked with many times before. The last time I worked with him I was just letting any ribbing go about me, but this time I was more absorbed with it, and played with the ribbing a little bit. I have said some things here and there but I didn't think I was being too obvious about. One day after work, one of the other guys grabbed my cell phone and jokingly typed in "I am gay", just before we got to the hotel. I grabbed my phone and typed a message back to him "I do not all the time agree with everything pat says", The biologist got the message while I was standing next to them. "Oh so you don't deny it" he says. I just walked away laughing.

The next day on the boat two divers were in the water, and the other two topside people were swimming cooling down, so it was just him and I. He looked at me and asked me straight out, "so have you told anyone at Mainstream". After I got done choking on my coke, I looked at him and said "no". He thought it would be a good idea to keep it quiet at work.

Well today he spend all day with the boss, and sometimes they get talking and who knows what will bleed out. I don't think he will say anything, but if he does, i think i will be okay with it.

Well hope you enjoyed my blog. I know I do.

Kris

Let people be people

I was going through the drive through the other day, when I noticed the girl in the drive through window. She had a large band-aid on her neck. At first thought, wow that must be some cut, but then I realized that it was to cover a tattoo. Now personally I don't have any tattoos, but I don't mind if someone does. Same thing with ear rings, why should people have to cover up. Our society is still heavily focused on dictating the way a person should act, or a person should look. Weather or not that person has piercings, tattoos, gay, straight, or whatever, we need to be more accepting in this world of a persons individuality, and not suppress it. I know that there are probably good times to have to cover up you uniqueness, but a person running the drive-through at a fast food restaurant should not have to cover up a tattoo, it is more gaudy seeing a band-aid than it is to see the tattoo.

Does anyone else agree.

Kris

Its been a while.

I know its been a while since my last post. I have let one other person know, a couple of weeks ago. That was M. He came over to my house the other day to help me get my Fiero ready for racing the following weekend. Finally after wearing my necklace around him for weeks he ask me whats up with the necklace. I replied what do you think is up with the necklace. He looked at me quietly for a few minutes than said: "so you like guys". I told him yes, he said he was having a hard time reading me, and are you straight up with me. I told him I was, and he said, "thats cool, nothing changes between us. We always thought you were gay but never new for sure". Well now he does. He still talks to a couple of people at work, and i didn't tell him that work does not know, so who knows what will come of that.

This last month or so has been really hard for me to be in the closet. I haven't had any me time really. I have been on job after job for weeks now, and my weekends have been jam packed with racing lately. In fact, I am typing this right now in the back seat of the work truck on my way home from a job. I am planning on doing some minor work on the Fiero this weekend, and I have to run into work for a few hours on Sunday, but other than that, I am going to try and have me time this weekend.

Well that is all I have to say this afternoon.

Kris

Almost cought

Okay,

So at work there are a few people that I am really not sure if I want to know that I am gay. Of those the Ladies in the office are on the top of my list. While I am sure most of them would be cool with it, they are heavy Christians and just might not completely understand. But maybe I am not giving them enough credit. Well, today I was doing my laundry, and decided to go over to the dollar store to get some electrical tape and a water so I can start installing my new radio in my Fiero. I was in the checkout line and I hear this voice from behind me. Hey stranger, I turned to look and it was one of the office ladies. I said, "hi", trying not to turn all the way around, hoping she wouldn't get a glimpse of my necklace. So I probably was acting a little suspicious cause I wouldn't look her in the I. I paid for my stuff said goodbye and walked out of the store. when I got out to the car I looked into the mirror to see that my necklace was perfectly visible, but not sure if it can be seen over my collar from her height and angle.

I wonder though. If I were really that afraid of someone catching me, I wouldn't be wearing this necklace around town now would I.

O well we will see what happens, deep down I want the whole world to know so I can just be me.

Kris

So I just had to comment about this morning. We were in the pontoon boat going down the river from the dam to the boat ramp. I was standing on the front of the boat looking in the water to make sure we don't hit any rocks or anything. I looked up to see my shadow in the water. There was a perfect Aura around my head. I was looking at it, and realized the Aura was a rainbow. A rainbow, I couldn't believe it. I just laughed, and pointed out the Aura to one of the guys on the boat, he said, "a perfect rainbow". We just laughed.

Well that is my story. My Aura is a rainbow, who am I to fight it.

Kris

Lost Netbook

Hi, its me again. I am still in a hotel in Chattanooga, tn, while I enjoy spending the weeks at a hotel out on a job, I am really looking forward to spending a night in my apartment. Got kind of an exciting weekend planned this weekend. I am hoping to do an autocross in Nashville on Sunday. I haven't done that in a long time, so it should be a lot of fun.

Now for the fun stuff to talk about. So I got an RC helicopter this weekend and we decided to go out and fly it next to the hotel. I was in the middle of working on a report for work, so i just folded up the netbook and went outside to fly it. I set my netbook down by the curb with my wireless keyboard and the papers for the report, and went out and flew my helicopter. The helicopter only has a 10 min battery life, so I wasn't gone very long. When I went to grab my netbook, it was gone. After a brief moment of panic I went to the front desk to see if anyone had turned it in.

Turns out someone found it, turned it in to the front desk, and because I had my company papers with it, they called up to the rooms in which we were registered under. Well they tried mine first, but i wasn't there, of course, i was out in the parking lot looking for my netbook. Then they called the room next to me, M. answered the phone and came on got my computer. So when I went to get it from him, he made a comment that he was checking to see if there was any gay porn on my computer. I responded with; did you find any? They said they didn't which would be accurate, i wouldn't keep porn of any kind on an almost public computer. So when I got back to my room I noticed the last picture they were looking at was one that I took the other day with my necklace on.

O well, I am sure they know I am gay, i just haven't told them yet. I guess if they saw the necklace they know too.

Well I have to go for now, I am getting tired, and I have to be down at the truck at 530 am.

Night Everyone.