Wedding

Tonight was a good night. My friend got married today, so I went to his wedding and reception. I have always dreaded the wedding reception. Why you may ask, well it is just a group of people, most of which I don't know, except the bride or groom, so I don't have anyone to hang out with or talk to, forcing me to meet and associate myself with new people. So I worked my way into conversations around the table, and dreaded being dragged up to the dance floor to dance with my friend.

Well finally towards the end of the night I got sick of it all, went to the front and danced my ass off for the rest of the night. No I didn't dance well, but I was up there looking goofy with the other 20 or so people on the dance floor. I must say thought I got a good charlston in.

The other one M. he is totally crush worthy. He was on the bowling league with me. He has a build kind of like mine,, a little extra meat, but not quite as much. he wears it well. He has a lot of energy, and has a great personality. I don't know his story, but I tried to hang around him as much as possible when we were between frames, talking and trying to get to know him. Well bowling league is over, hopefully he will be there next season.

Well I have just about talked myself to death, and probably you all are tired of reading this post. One other not, I planned on going bungee jumping this weekend, but I could not find anywhere to do it near Cincinnati. I decided that I am not going to leave this size of a city without doing something, so tomorrow I am going to try and go see the Cleopatra exhibit at one of the local museums.

Enjoy,
Kris

last couple of weeks

The last couple of weeks have been kind of interesting for me so I thought I would write about it. We got a couple of new guys at work, which is nothing new, we are getting geared up for the busy season. Well they were in the front of the shop waiting for the seceratary when I came in. I shook their hands and introduced myself. It stopped and said HI to the marketing person, then went back into my office. I put my hands on the keyboard to log into my computer and realized that I still had my pride bracelet on. My first though was, OOOOOOOOHHHH SHIT. What did I just do? I just had to laugh about it. The new guys don't know anything about me, except for the fact that I am gay. Thats all I could think about anyway, but then thought well what if they didn't see it, or didn't realize it. I figured if I am outed, i guess that is something I will have to deal with, not like I think it would be a big surprise anyone. but I also thought if I try to run interference with the new guys, I would only bring attention to the face, and if they didn't see it, then they would know about it when I was done trying to head it off. So far, I haven't heard of anything.

The only other thing on my mind right now is that I really want to find someone I can think about settling down with. I would love to come home to someone at night, cuddle in front of the TV, and a person I can wake up next to in the morning. So I am going to try and be a little more outgoing and try and go on more dates in the very near future. After I establish a steady relationship maybe we can start talking about kids. I don't know why all of a sudden, but I am feeling the desire for one.

Well I am going to shut the computer down, there is a severe thunderstorm about to go through.

Have a good night all, and I hope you enjoy the blog. oh and if you know any cute guys that I can carry on a good conversation, what are you waiting for hook me up. wink wink

Kris

Crush

Well, this week was the last week of my bowling league. I must admit that I am sad to see it go. I finally started to get out of my social isolation and got out there and started enjoying being around people. Its been great. Well there is this one guy on the league I have been crushing on, especially for the last couple of weeks. I am pretty sure he is straight, but heck why not enjoy his company anyway. I will call him M. my way of protecting the straight. LOL. but anyway for the last couple of weeks I have been hanging out around him between the frames and talking with him. He seams like a really nice person, and oh, he is cute to boot. I don't know what else to say about it.

Tonight was a good night bowling though. I shot a 247 as a high game, with a series of 649.

Another thing I have been doing at work was to keep myself in a better mood. I have started to put my pride bracelet in my pocket. Every time I reached in to grab my keys or my phone, or just put my hands in my pocket, I would grab the bracelet and smile.

I don't know if anyone has noticed or not, but I have started posting on my facebook page that my blog is ready. Its great cause I only have to tell one media. The people that know I have a blog can see that it is ready, and the people that don't know I have a blog ignore it. I like it that way, and if they really wanted to know what the blog comment is about, they can ask me.

Well that is all I have to say for now. I know there was something else, but it slipped my mind. I will post again when I think of it.

Night all.

Kris

Two same themed blogs in a row.

Got to love the Boxee box. For all of those that don't know what it is. It is the most awesome media player in the world. It will pull streaming video off line and play it on your TV. over 9000 movies and 1000 tv shows to choose from.

Well I was flicking through my list of favorites, and came across the new History Channel Series "Only in America". I thought I would check that out and see what it is all about. well the first thing on the list was "Pray the Gay Way". I thought that was weird, but I wanted to check it out. Turns out the Boxee box put it in the wrong category and I was really watching an O W N network show. I had seen the commercial for it a few days back and wanted to watch it.

They had many different types of people there. Ones that are self proclaimed X-Gay. They claimed by prayer and believing in god that they have become X-Gay. They also had people that were in the process of becoming x-gay. I really felt bad for this kid. He acted so repressed with his feelings. He did use to drag, drink, do drugs, and have random sex with guys, but now that He has found god, and is trying to become x-gay, he doesn't do that anymore. So I will admit that some good has come out of that mentality, as far as the crazy destructive life style is concerned. But you could tell that this kid was so bottled up.

But then they had a segment on this other group of kids. They had this summer camp where Gay kids can go to and learn about god and be in a place that was accepting of their sexuality.

It was a really good show, and Opera gets two thumbs up for airing it. All is said and done, one of the ministers of the group that wanted to change gays to straight came out and said "Weather your gay or straight you will be beside me in heaven as long as you believe in Jesus as our savior.

With that I am done talking tonight. I feel a little more at ease now that I watched the show and saw other gay peoples perspectives on being Christan.

Kris

Need to find me

Hi everyone, Well the two or three of you guys that read my blog.

Okay, I have said what I needed to say. The above text has been deleted, what I said was stuff I needed to say for the betterment of myself.

Now stuff that I want to say to everyone.

I am dealing with a lot of emotional things right now. Not sure where I fit in, Not sure where the future is going to take me, not sure of much right now. I feel as if I have been a drift on the sea of life for a while now, not really focused, just going where the current takes me. The problem is, I am stuck in an eddy. At times it looks like I am on the move, but wait a little while longer and I will be riding the current back to where I was. I need a sudden burst of wind to break me free of this eddy.

Wow, now I am getting really philosophical. Well hold on to your seats, its not over yet.

The other thing I am dealing with is God and Religion. Even though I always listen and love to listen to my Christan radio station. (WAY FM) little plug for them, they rock. I feel lost in my religion. I was brought up as a Presbyterian and still feel as if that is my denomination of choice. What I have a hard time with is, figure out where I fit in within a church setting. I really miss the fellowship of the church. I don't want to walk into a church "Hi its me aren't I fabulous", I don't think I need to disrupt things like that, but on the other hand I don't want keep myself closeted either. It is going to come out, I would rather people know from the start and get to know me for me, not for the guy that just came out. I know there are churches that present themselves as gay churches, but that is not what I really want. I don't want the focus on homosexuality, or even around it, but what I want is acceptance for the way I am, and given the right to worship the lord along side everyone else. After all we are all sinners in this world in one way or the other. (I know what I want to say in this space here, but I can't figure out how to put it into words right now. The rest of this thought is up to you guys.)

Well with all that being said, I will sign off.

Please post comments or thoughts about this posting.

Kris

P.S. I know there are a couple of my close family that read this blog, and are worried about me, please know that I will be okay. I just need to climb my way out of this valley, or blow my self out of this eddy. (anyone got a speed boat, that would help) I will be okay you guys.

I am not sure I fit in anymore

I am not sure I fit in at work anymore. It has been a rather rough week for me this week dealing with people. On of the guys I work with he has had a bad attitude towards me since the first day he started working there. I never knew why until this week. He is scared of me I think. He calls me gay all the time and I never deny it. So he doesn't like me because I don't deny it. Will I guess our differences will never be worked out, cause weather he thinks I am gay, or I come out and tell him I am gay, his attitude is going to be the same. So be it. So B. The only thing I have to you is FU. Thats it.

Now comes the other part of the week. One of the office ladies came in to my coworkers office and mine this morning starting out with, do you know what Obama did? She explained that Obama won't defend the marriage law or something like that she started going on about gay this and gay that, and how she thought there is no way that people were born gay, it is against the bible. That is where I almost stopped her. I wanted to ask here when she knew she was straight.

Well anyway I have pretty much figured out that there is no way I can even entertain the notion of coming out at work, already knowing how people act about homosexuality even when they don't know how close it is to them.

Anyway enough of this negative blog. I don't like them myself but some times things just need to be said.

Kris

Vacation

Well as some of you know, and some of you don't I spent last week in sunny Florida, getting a taste of what its like down where people are happy to be where they are at. I must say I had a good time down in the Villages. Yes I know I said Villages, a retirement community. But really I was down there to visit my uncle which I have not been to his place since he moved in, and to play as much golf as I could squeeze in while I was down there.

The Villages is a really nice community, and there is a good chance that when it comes to me retiring, that is where I am going to end up. The older people in this area is like no other. They are the biggest group of people that have decided that when they are old, they are not going to stay inside the house all day and let death happen. The are taking advantage of everything this wonderful community has to offer.

For me, on the days that I didn't go golfing I went geocaching with my aunt. She was great to drive me all over the villages in her awesome electric golf cart. I had a blast, and found around 14 geocaches. There were a couple of great puzzle caches that ended up being a ton of fun.

When all was said and done, it was time to go home. I didn't really like the idea, but I knew I still had a job waiting for me when I got home. So I boarded the airplane and the first thing I saw was a cute flight attendant, can't for the life of me remember his name, but I was happy to see a male attendant. I got settled in my seat and it was time for the pre-flight announcements. This is when it got fun.

The flight attendant started the announcements, talking about turning off all electronic devices such as cell phones, computers, children. That got everyone that was paying the littlest of attention laughing. Then he continues talking about the drinks, coke, diet coke, water, alcohol, and energy drinks for your children. Again the plane was practically rolling on the floor. So towards the end of the safety portion of the speech he was talking about the oxygen mask. He said "even though the bag may not be inflated the alcohol is still flowing". Isn't that great. Oh and one other thing, he was talking about the vest. he said to put the toilet cover over you head and pull the handle when you get out of the plane. "for the over achiever you can inflate the vest manually using the tube".

So anyway enough about that. So the plane takes off, and what do you know, there are three male flight attendants and only one female flight attendants. and to top it off they are all pretty cute.

Well on the assent into the air we hear an announcement. "Please direct your attention to the center Isle, your in flight snack is being delivered". I was thinking what is going on. Then I hear "you better catch them, the drinks are next". All of a sudden peanuts go flying down the center isle, they were putting them on the floor and letting them slide towards the back due to our assent angle. It was so fun.

Well that was the highlight of my trip home.

Hope you enjoyed the story.

Kris